So here we are in March and I'm back! The last six months have been hard on me. I struggled to find my groove as a mom of two. I know that sounds silly, but it was a lot harder for me than I thought and not in the way I thought it would be. The hardest part has been to find my patience as a mother. I always wanted my home to a peaceful place, a haven from the world. But it wasn't. The last six months I found myself yelling at Kash and losing my temper more than I'd like to admit. After each tantrum of his followed by my own I would feel so guilty for yelling at him like I did. But lack of sleep, the demands of church and work, taking care of Nixon...it all took it's toll on me and yelling was the only way I was willing to cope with it all. I knew I was a better mom than that. I knew Kash deserved better.
I know yelling doesn't seem like a big deal but it was. I was never a "yeller" before and actually took pride in not yelling at Kash. But now I was and I needed to stop. I prayed for strength to be a better mom. I prayed for patience and guidance. I prayed that Blaine would be able to comfort me and he did. Together we've worked so hard to make our home a peaceful place. I'm not perfect but I can say the last few week as I've tried to yell less I've noticed a calmness in our house, and shocker, Kash has behaved so much better. I actually lost my temper a week ago and Kash suggested we say a prayer so we wouldn't be mad at each other anymore. Well if that doesn't make me want to stop yelling (and bawl my eyes out) I don't know what would!
I know the way I talk to Kash affects him greatly. Now anytime I start to get frustrated I think of this quote from David O. McKay, "There should be no yelling in the home unless there is a fire." So true. I plan on hanging this in my home as a constant reminder.
|(you can download this 8 x 11.5 print here)|