i'm back

Since Nixon was born it felt like my life has been turned upside down.  He was born in September and shortly after that the holidays came, Kash's birthday and party, I received an additional calling at church and then February was just a crappy month for us.

So here we are in March and I'm back! The last six months have been hard on me.  I struggled to find my groove as a mom of two.  I know that sounds silly, but it was a lot harder for me than I thought and not in the way I thought it would be.  The hardest part has been to find my patience as a mother.  I always wanted my home to a peaceful place, a haven from the world.  But it wasn't. The last six months I found myself yelling at Kash and losing my temper more than I'd like to admit.  After each tantrum of his followed by my own I would feel so guilty for yelling at him like I did.  But lack of sleep, the demands of church and work, taking care of Nixon...it all took it's toll on me and yelling was the only way I was willing to cope with it all.  I knew I was a better mom than that.  I knew Kash deserved better.  

I know yelling doesn't seem like a big deal but it was.  I was never a "yeller" before and actually took pride in not yelling at Kash.  But now I was and I needed to stop. I prayed for strength to be a better mom. I prayed for patience and guidance.  I prayed that Blaine would be able to comfort me and he did.  Together we've worked so hard to make our home a peaceful place. I'm not perfect but I can say the last few week as I've tried to yell less I've noticed a calmness in our house, and shocker, Kash has behaved so much better.  I actually lost my temper a week ago and Kash suggested we say a prayer so we wouldn't be mad at each other anymore.  Well if that doesn't make me want to stop yelling (and bawl my eyes out) I don't know what would! 

I know the way I talk to Kash affects him greatly.  Now anytime I start to get frustrated I think of this quote from David O. McKay, "There should be no yelling in the home unless there is a fire."  So true.  I plan on hanging this in my home as a constant reminder. 

(you can download this 8 x 11.5 print here)

I've gotten back to being a more confident and happy mom, I'm feeling more organize in my work and calling, and I've prioritized the things that are important.  One of them being this blog.  I've said it many times but this blog is a way to document my kids' lives and seems to be the only method that I actually stick to. I'm grateful for that because I often look back on my posts and have already forgotten many of the details that I had documented.  I'm hoping I can stay on a roll and get back into blogging.  And in true Erica style if I'm going to do something it has to be pretty so I gave the little ol' blog yet another face lift.  

wildcat mountain 10 mile run

One of the things I love about Blaine (and also hate because I wish I was more like this) is that when he puts his mind to something he does it, no matter what.  And so it was with this running bug that he's caught.  Blaine told one of our friends, a pretty avid runner, that he wanted to run a marathon just to see if he could do it without training for it.  His friend thought he was crazy and talked him into running in a shorter race with some training.  

So that's what Blaine did, he signed up for the Wildcat Mountain 10 Mile Run.  He started training and running almost every night...6 miles here, 8 miles there.  I was so impressed. He would run almost every night after Kash was asleep no matter how tired he was, how cold it was or what kind of day he had he made sure that if he said he would run he would.  This is where Blaine and I differ greatly.  Never ever do I feel like I NEED to do something that isn't necessary, not saying this is a good thing but it's the way I am and that's why I admire Blaine's determination to do many things.

Anyway, the week of the race was perfect weather and we were sure that race day would be no exception.  Well we were wrong.  We woke up to rain and almost freezing temps.  Blaine rode up with our friends that we also participating in the run and Kash and I were going to meet him up there.  As we drove closer and closer to where the finish line was the rain turned into sleet which turned into snow.  They should have changed the name of the race to Polar Bear Run because it was freezing.  I felt so bad that he was running in freezing weather!

Finished!  Note the battle wound from the crappy running conditions. 

Blaine did an awesome job finishing 3rd for his age group and 4th overall.  This was his first race, in freezing conditions and he did awesome!!!  I'm so proud of him and I'm sure this won't be his last race!

These are our friends the Rowans.  Don't worry he finished 1st overall and she was the 1st woman to finish.  Yeah they are crazy good at running.  I just sat in the car and ate snacks with Kash while these fools were burning millions of calories haha. 

last night lived up to the hype!

I may or may not have cried when Lindsey Vonn won gold last night.

joy to the world

I was inspired this last Halloween to get my craft on when I saw this project on the Shanty 2 Chic blog. Of course I bought all the supplies in October, but never got around to making it till now...typical!

But after finally making these cute little apothecary jars I realized they were too cute to put away, and I needed to find some way to incorporate them into my Christmas decor. Well here's what I came up with. My finals are a little smaller (and yes one is a little crooked-adds character right?!?!), I didn't use twine and I chose not to distress the wood. But I still think they turned out alright.

This craft is super easy and you can buy all of the supplies needed at Hobby Lobby. Check out the tutorial on Shanty 2 Chic and the blog in general. They have lots of cute and inexpensive project ideas.

dream closet

It's Friday, which equals no on comes to work which equals a day of surfing the world wide web for me.

Today I stumbled upon my dream closet. I love a good walk-in closet, but I really love the idea of that vanity in the actual closet. I wish I had somewhere darling to sit and put on my makeup in the morning instead of on the floor in front of a cheap full length mirror from Wal-mart (which is getting harder the bigger my belly gets by the way). Another plus about this closet is the fact that they actually took time to decorate it with that super cute wallpaper. I know that it's probably just a waist of money because who sees your closet right!? But it would make me happy to start my day off with this gem of a space!

Happy Friday!

i'm not alone

I love blogs. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because they keep me busy everyday on slow days at work. But I like to think it's because I love to see the creative ideas of others, get a good laugh, keep up to date with friends that are far away or to hear personal stories.

This morning I was reading this blog (which has become a fave of mine) and I was surprised at what I read. This "rockstar" girl posted today that even she gets sad from time to time and has bad days. From the outside she is this pretty girl (that can rock bangs the way I can only dream of), has cool fashion sense, is really positive and fun, takes neat pictures, is a talented dancer and lives in the city that never sleeps...she seems to have it all but even she has trials that get her down.

So I'm not the only one that, in perspective, has a good life but still gets sad (and sometimes for no reason-which I'm sure Blaine loves) with day to day life? Weird!

If today is your sad, lonely, pity party day (what, we all have them) I hope you feel better tomorrow. I found this picture of a rainbow in Logan canyon...rainbows always cheer me up.

"If we have to pass through a few trials, a few difficulties, and a few afflictions and to meet with a few privations, they have a tendency to purify the metal, purge it from the dross, and prepare it for the Master’s use."-John Taylor

Playing House in the White House

By now most have heard parts of the letter that the Bush twins wrote to Sasha and Malia, a passing of the baton if you will. But on The Today Show this morning the twins read the letter while a slide show of them growing up in the White House was shown. It brought tears to my eyes. This excerpt touched me the most:

"And finally, although it's an honor and full of so many extraordinary opportunities, it isn't always easy being a member of the club you are about to join. Our dad, like yours, is a man of great integrity and love; a man who always put us first. We still see him now as we did when we were seven: as our loving daddy. Our Dad, who read to us nightly, taught us how to score tedious baseball games. He is our father, not the sketch in a paper or part of a skit on TV. Many people will think they know him, but they have no idea how he felt the day you were born, the pride he felt on your first day of school, or how much you both love being his daughters. So here is our most important piece of advice: remember who your dad really is."

A little inspiring isn't it?

Whether we dislike a person, disapprove of their actions or whatever judgment we are passing, each person has a family, is a father, mother, sister, etc. And just like these girls said of their daddy, many people will think they know him, but they have no idea...

Today I will try to judge a little less.