Nixon Layne Turnbow

I can't believe it's taken me 11 days to post about our sweet new baby, but I guess life with two boys has kept me busy to say the least.  While newborns do sleep their first few weeks away I'm still working on getting back into a routine with the now added feedings, less sleep and a two year old adjusting to someone else being the center of his mom's world.  But I think we are all adjusting well and finding a new normal.

I think I made it pretty clear leading up to the birth of our second baby that I was scared that I wouldn't/couldn't possibly love another child as much as I love Kash.  But I'm happy to report that as soon as they laid my sweet baby boy on my chest I was instantly in love!!!  They say you love your children differently and I do believe that to be true but that moment when I met him for the first time it felt just like it did with Kash...an immediate bond and love so strong that no one could break it.  I feel so blessed to have another little newborn to care and love for.

The birthing process went pretty smoothly this go around, except for the epidural not taking very well.  But other than that I couldn't have asked for a better experience.  Nixon made pretty good time and there were no complications...all things we had prayed for in the weeks leading up to my induction date.  Since he did come so fast at the end of my labor he was extremely bruised and swollen, even more so than Kash which I didn't think was possible.  Since he was so bruised he did end up with a little bit of jaundice but nothing extreme.  His face is looking great these days and he seems to have a little swelling and bruising left just around his eyes.

I wasn't going to make a video, simply because a nap sounded more appealing.  But with so many pictures and video from just the hospital I thought it would be easier to just do a video.  Ahh who am I kidding, I just love make videos :)

So here he is, Nixon Layne Turnbow!  He's stolen my heart already!  I can't believe he will be two weeks old in a few days.  I'm trying really hard this go around to enjoy each day and moment and not worry about the next milestone in hopes to slow down the growing up process. I'll let you know if it works, ha...

Jesus wants me? for a sunbeam

That's right folks my new calling is a Sunbeam teacher!  I've always wanted to be in the primary but actually felt a little overwhelmed when they asked me if I would accept.  Of course I would but in the back of my head I was thinking, "Oh my gosh I don't even know what they do in primary.  How old are Sunbeams?  Why am I excited?" ha  You see I never really went to primary.  I mean from time to time Muttie would make me go (aka show up at my house and say I'm taking you to church...that's why I love her!) and it was so infrequent that each time I went was like the first day of school, awkward and scary.  One of my only memories is standing at the pulpit in front of the congregation for the primary program (why they gave me, an inactive child, a speaking part I'll never understand) and freaking out so much that instead of reading my one line I just started crying and ran off of the stage!  Poor 6 year old me! ha

Luckily my new calling hasn't gone that wrong...yet.  I actually love it!  It's my favorite calling I've ever had...who thought I'd ever love a calling? haha just kidding.  I love being with the kids, I love sharing time and singing time (I'll finally know more than 3 primary songs!), and I love preparing the lessons.

Anyway I figured well if I'm in primary then I better get a "church bag", I mean that's what all of the other primary leaders have :)  Okay so I'll make any excuse to get a new bag.  I looked on etsy and there were some cute bags but I couldn't seem to justify the prices.  So I made my own.  I saw a print with "search, ponder and pray" on it a few weeks ago and it inspired me to make this.  Hopefully the artist doesn't mind I totally copied her design, but I'm not reselling it, is that okay?

I just bought one of those cheap canvas bags from Michael's, covered the handles with some fabric from Hobby Lobby and created the yellow design in Illustrator and printed it on iron-on transfer paper.  It was actually pretty easy and I love it.  Sad thing is I don't think it's big enough and I'm probably going to have to upgrade, but it does the trick for now.

Oh and by the way this new calling means that Blaine has to endure the last few months with Kash for the last two hours of church before he "qualifies" for nursery!  Not gonna lie I'm not crying over that one.  Good luck Blaine!

being a mother

I've never felt more like a daughter of God until the day I had Kash.  I don't know if it's because babies just have such a strong sweet spirit about them, if it's because I strive to be better so that he has a good example, or simply the fact that I pray more often for guidance so I don't mess him up!  Whatever it may be not only does Kash bring a special energy and joy to our house but becoming a mom has also allowed me to become closer to my Heavenly Father.

I love that quote by President Hinckley (don't you just miss him), it's so true.  It's such a great reminder of what's important in life.  When the stresses of day to day tasks can consume us it's nice to think of our purpose and focusing our efforts on raising our children.

Parenthood, for me, hasn't gone by with out a healthy does of humble pie though.  I'm not the perfect mom I always dreamed I would be.  You know the one who's child never throws a fit in a store,  never hits you in the face, never screams for no reason...oh no not me! ha!  There are some nights after Kash is asleep where I think wow I could have handled that situation with a little more patience, or maybe I shouldn't have let him eat that, or do that, or I could have played with him more, etc..

But then I hear quotes like this:


"Life’s journeys can have many ups and downs. Yes, there will be days when you will feel the going is tough. But as you stay on the right path, the reward at the end of life’s journey is well worth the moments of adversity you experience along the way."-Elder Ben B. Banks


...and I remember that in between the refusals to eat dinner and the hugs, that motherhood is a journey.  That by giving my child the best, mixed in with a few not so best days, that I will be rewarded in the end when I see my beautiful baby boy grow up to be an amazing person.

So thank you to Kash on this mother's day for making me a mom.  I know that I was put on this Earth to be a mom, through the good times and the hard.  And there's nothing more rewarding than being Kash's mom!

Happy Mother's Day!

utah trip: besties

The beautiful view from Juli's dad's house.  We are always feel so lucky that he lets us stay there! 

The main reason we ventured to Utah was because my best friend Juli was blessing her baby in Logan and my other best friend Sayward just had a baby as well.  I hate that we don't all live in the same town, and it only gets worse when they have babies and I'm not there to meet them right away.

Luckily things are always the same when we get together and it's like we started right were we left off.  Granted, our conversations are geared more towards, babies, birth, nursing, poopy diapers, etc now, but that is our lives at the moment and I don't think we would have it any other way.  

I loved seeing my besties with babies!  It's awesome to watch your friends grow and mature and become mothers.  And of course I was super emotional about meeting these two little babes.  I couldn't help but cry when I met Ascher for the first time, and when I saw Ava in her beautiful blessing dress I couldn't hold back the tears.  Yeah I'm a freak what can I say! 

Although I was enjoying all the newborn baby holding Kash was hating it.  He would get super jealous anytime I would hold Ava or Ascher, good thing Blaine was there to distract him most of the time!

Sweet baby Ava, and her cute little smile!

Baby Ascher loved me ha

Love this picture!  Almost 10 years later and so many new people in the picture!  Thanks for making this picture happen Nat.

The girl of the day

We feel so blessed to have such great friends that despite the fact that we all live in different states that we get to see each other so often!  Thanks for a great weekend friends, we miss you!!!

kash's 1st year

I wanted to share the little video we made for Kash's birthday party.  I've watched it like 20 times now and it never fails it makes me cry every time!

one year ago today...

...we were anxiously awaiting our little boy. By this point last year I thought I had every last detailed prepared, but I don't think you can ever fully prepare mentally for becoming a parent. This time last year I had no idea that in a week I would have an 11 pound NEWBORN! I had no idea what labor and birth would actually be like. I had some idea, but didn't fully realize how much I would love that little boy until he came.
I can't believe it's been a year and we are fast approaching Kash's first birthday. I've been extra weepy lately thinking about his first year of life. Words can't describe how much love I have for my baby boy, so I'll just stop here. And leave you with this little reminder of the big ol baby in my belly, one year ago!

Let the posts celebrating Kash's first life begin!

motherhood

yeah this made me cry...thanks for sharing it on FB Katie!

Team Turnbow Season Opener

Training camp is over and Team Turnbow is charged up for the 2010-2011 season.  This year looks to be promising for the Turnbow's as they picked up an all star rookie, Kash Turnbow, in the off season.  "Kash is sure to pull his weight and from what we could tell at camp he seems to fit right in with the team," said Coach Blaine Turnbow.  The Turnbow's have some big games ahead of them this year but each player's dedication to the team is sure to bring more W's than loses.

Okay, okay enough of the "team turnbow" joke...

Today's our fourth anniversary and I'll try and spare you the mushiness--only because I'm sure it would embarrass Blaine.  But we are in love.  Marriage is hard but we are way better at it then we were four years ago that's for sure.  Communication, patience, compromise and unconditional love are things we've become really good at over the past four years.

I didn't know it about six years ago when Blaine was trying to "court me" (haha), but we are prefect for each other!

Happy Anniversary Blaine!

i love you

And what's an anniversary post with out a few pics of us together?!?! :)

. 

motherhood

My world as I knew it has changed.  I've forgotten what it's like to not feel tired.  It takes about 20 minutes of prep time just to go to the grocery store.  The skin on my stomach looks like...well lets just say it's sick!  Bills, bills and more bills!  I've turned into a dairy cow.  I've become really good and cooking dinner, doing my make-up and cleaning all with one hand.  My lunch breaks are no longer mine as they are devoted to pumping.  I now worry non stop about a little man that I've only known for 3 months.  But I wouldn't change a thing!

When I stop and think about being a mom it overwhelms me.  I used to dream of the day when I would become a mother.  But it's so much different than I ever thought it would be.  It's one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs I've ever had.  It's hard to put into words the emotions of being a mother.  I don't know if it's because I'm now perma-tired and that makes me more emotional,but any time of the day my eyes will well up with tears at the thought and responsibility of being a mom to my perfect little boy.  I love him so much and can't even imagine my life without him.  I can be having the worst day ever and come home to my little boy looking up at me with his big eyes, he will smile at me and I will forget whatever I was previously upset about.  It's amazing how much love I have for him, more than I ever thought was possible.  But with such great love comes fear of not being the perfect mom and giving him everything he deserves. 

I was feeling guilty for not being the perfect mom a few weeks ago. My best friend emailed me this quote:

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."  “Daughters of God,” Ensign, May 2008, 108–10 Elder M. Russell Ballard

I do love Kash with all my heart, him and Blaine are my first priority and according to Elder Ballard that's all that matters! So tomorrow, on my first mother's day as a mama,  I will be proud to be a daughter of God.  Proud that He has trusted me to take care of one of his children.  Proud to be a wife and have a husband that helps me to be the best mom I can be. Grateful for all the women in my life that have been great examples of strong mothers.  And grateful for my little family that makes me smile each and every day.

I'm just starting out on this journey of motherhood and I have sooo much to learn. But I hope I can give Kash and my future children a home full of love and stability.  I want my kids to feel like home is a place that they can escape from the worries of the world.  I hope I can be a good example.  I hope my children know that I will always love them and will be there for them no matter what.  

I love being a mom.  There hasn't been one day in the past three and half months that I have thought, wow it would be nice if my life could go back to the way it used to be.  Sure there are hard days,  but every single day my little boy makes me happier than I can even explain...it's a happiness that only parents get to experience, and I'm finally part of that club! 

Happy Mother's Day!  

This is my favorite picture of Kash and I.  It was the first night we had brought him home from the hospital.  I had just finished feeding him and was getting up to put him back in his crib and next thing I knew I was waking up to the flash of Blaine's camera as he captured this moment. 

birthday boy

Happy Birthday Blaine! Hope you have the best day ever!  You are the perfect person for me and I'm so glad that you are in my life!  I LOVE YOU, insomuch that I wrote you a haiku...and a rhyming one at that!

today is your day

big two-nine, the third of May

birthday boy, hooray

(ha ha ,okay so it's not brilliant but I still love you!)

Thanks for always being happy

and positive

and making me happy and positive

you make me laugh each day

and you are the best person I know

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEZ!

a child's love

Everyone talks about a mother's love, but I think there's something to be said about a child's unconditional love for it's mom!

Like how my little boy will look up at me like I'm the best mom in the world when I sing to him, even though I'm the worst singer in the world!!! Pretty sure in sacrament Blaine has looked at me a time or two like what the freak note did you just sing? But when I sing to this little boy it calms him right down, even when I laugh in between the words because I'm so bad at singing I can't even stand it. Not this little boy, he has unconditional love for him mama...right back atcha boy!

kash anderson turnbow

Well Blaine and I are officially parents! Yesterday our sweet little boy was born! I'm not going to go into details of the process of getting him here...just know that he was ELEVEN lbs. and he was delivered vaginally-enough said!

He came out a little bruised and puffy (it was a rough ride for the both of us) but we love him so much already. He gets cuter every second! And he's already such a good baby! Not to mention he's the talk of the hospital. Every time a new nurse comes on shift she'll be checking us and then it will hit her oh this is the 11 pound baby everyone in the maternity ward is talking about!! I still can't believe it myself. He won't even fit into all of the new born clothes or diapers we have. That's okay this just means I get to buy more things for him!

Introducing our perfect little boy:
Kash Anderson Turnbow
born on 1.19.10 at 10:50am

11 lbs 1 oz 22 inches

He's made Team Turnbow a million times better in just two days. I already can't imagine my life without him and love him more than I ever thought was possible! And can I mention that I fell in love with my husband all over again once he became a father. Blaine is the perfect dad. He cares about his well being so much and makes sure he's always okay!

I could go on forever on how happy we are. We're in love!

32 weeks=8 months=8 more weeks

I felt like my last post was a little negative. So what better way to cheer people up than a belly shot and a fetus poem? Who doesn't love that combo?!

I don't want to give the wrong impression that I hate being pregnant. I mean don't get me wrong it's not my favorite thing in the world but it has been an amazing experience overall. To think that I'm trusted enough to carry this little baby and to bring him into this world is just an overwhelmingly awesome feeling!

Watching my belly wiggle and to feel our little boy kick makes up for the restless nights and bruised ribs.

The thought of all the joy and happiness he will bring our family makes up for all the ridiculous pregnancy comments.

Having a little boy and the bond he will have with his dad as they do boy things makes up for all the times I laughed too hard and peed in my pants a little! :) ha ha

The tiny toes, the small hands and the irresistible adorableness that will soon call me mom makes up for the constant stream of snot coming from my nose since becoming pregnant.

I know it will all be worth it!

I can't believe how much I already love him and feel a connection with him. Every time I get something out of the fridge it warms my heart to see the little sonogram of him sucking his thumb! I've waited for a long time to become a mother and I can't believe the time is so near. And to start a family with Blaine makes it even better than I ever dreamed of!

happy birthday juli

Dear Pooge,

Happy Birthday! I wish you were here so the Turnbow's could show you a good time on your big day (and yes we still know how to have a good time even though we are crippled and knocked up)! Or I wish we were all in Logan so we could do our traditional girls birthday dinner, stay at the restaurant for hours after our meal was done laughing the night away. To be followed maybe by a Slurpee run to visit our favorite Sev guy, Steven, and then cruise Main in Scratchy. Then maybe we could go home and get in a few more hours of laughs in until I got grumpy/tired and decided that it was time for bed. Which would really mean we could go to our separate rooms and chat online (to each other) for a few more hours!

I miss you so much and feel ever so blessed to have you as a best friend after all of these years. If you were here today with me I would totally make you something like this (but it would be a really moist not so cakey cake)!I hope you have an awesome birthday! And sorry to break it you, you're in our "old" club now! :)

Love,
E

5 months later...

(don't mind my pink jacket clashing with the red curtains!)

...and I look like I've swallowed a cantaloupe. My weekly pregnancy emails actually said it's more like a 6" Subway sandwich now. I can't believe the baby is that big or how HUGE my stomach has gotten in the last few weeks (and I'm only half way there, yikes)!!! But I don't care how big the baby wants to get, okay that's a lie I do care, but as long as I'm not puking. So far the 2nd trimester has been a dream! I mean my body still reminds me that I'm carrying a little bambino around, but I feel so much better than I did the first four months of this adventure.

And the baby seriously moves all the time now and it is the coolest part of pregnancy thus far. I will just be going through my day, maybe talking to a co-worker and I will feel the baby kick, get so happy inside and totally zone out. I eventually come back to reality and pretend like I was totally listening. I love it--not the ignoring my co-workers part, the baby saying hi part. I love this little baby (have I said that already?!?!)!!! I keep wishing Blaine could feel the tiny kicks. I make him put his hand on my belly all the time to try and feel it, but I think we are going to have wait a little longer till he can feel the baby.

Next Friday we find out what it is. So place your bets now--boy or girl?? Loser has to change a dirty diaper!

t h r e e

I know this time of year blogs are filled with gushy posts about people's anniversaries. Well our anniversary is just as important so here's another one!

I love candid pictures-the kind that capture who you really are without the cheesy smile. Just natural interaction.

One of my favorite memories with Blaine is when we were dating...Sundays when we were dating in particular. We would spend all day together on Sundays and I would usually beg him to take me on a drive through Logan Canyon. We would drive for hours and Ben Folds: Songs for Silverman was usually the soundtrack to these mini road trips. We would cruise around in his old Mazda that had a fancy cd player and I would always change the screen saver to the swimming dolphins...he hated that one! :) Later it would be his new Land Cruiser, Spike, in which I would ask him to drive deep into the mountains so that we could hunt for the fall leaves just starting to change--he didn't mind this so much because he got to really test Spike's offroading skills. Sometimes we would stop off at First Damn and feed the ducks. Sometimes we would just end up walking the trail at Second Damn.

Dang, I miss those days!

I love thinking about that time in our lives. The beginning where we were starting to fall in love. It didn't matter back then what we were doing as long as we were together. It didn't matter what our friends were doing or what we may have been missing out on just as long as we were together.

Happy Anniversary Beez! I LOVE YOU!

speaking of the jazz...

Jerry Sloan and John Stockton were inducted in the basketball hall of fame this week!

Stockton is the reason I love the Utah Jazz and the game of basketball. Watching the Jazz still doesn't feel the same without hearing Stockton to Malone.

I think I will forever be obsessed with John Stockton. In my high school speech class we could pick any person to speak on and of course I chose Stockton. My Chicago Bulls-loving peers laughed through my entire speech. I still carry Stockton's trading card in my wallet in case I ever meet him he can sign it. My freshmen year of college I sat in my dorm room and cried as I watch the last game Stockton would ever play. And my eyes welled up again when I heard he was inducted into the hall of fame.

So to the greatest point great ever, from your number one fan...congratulations Stockton! And congrats to the greatest coach ever, the Jazz will never be the same once you are gone!

"I think Jerry certainly deserves it," Layden said. "There wasn't a doubt in my mind he should be in. If anybody didn't vote for him, they should be investigated."

cutest lil' niece ever!

Since I can't be a proud mama I might as well be a proud aunt(in-law)! Look at how cute Blaine's little niece Jocelyn is, I couldn't help but share these.

This is one of my faves!

some sweet tunes/treats for your valentine pleasure

Happy Valentine's Day (a day early)! If you work with me you get the cookies pictured above. If you read my blog I made you a mix tape. In high school and college I was obsessed with making mix cd's! Besides my inner circle of friends...everyone thought they were pretty lame! I didn't say I was good at it...I just said I loved to do it. And some of my favorite gifts have been mix "tapes" from my best friends. Maybe a good Valentine's gift for your lover? Yes!

So here you go, my eclectic love mix!

love is in the air

Love is literally in the air with these photos from this etsy shop. I'm in love with the soft, warm and fuzzy hearts in these pictures, perfect for the upcoming holiday.This last one is my fave. It reminds me of a small town fair in the summer. I'm a sucker for love and home town things!

pics by irene suchocki