potty training

I asked Kash to stand tall.  So he climbed on the toilet and gave me this pose haha.  I suppose this celebratory pose is appropriate for this post. 

As a new mom you never know when the "right" time to do things are.  I mean sure you'll get lots of free (wanted or unwanted) advice and the books, internet and your neighbor will all tell you what the perfect time is but it's hard to know what's best for your child and your family.  

So it was when the topic of potty training came up in our house.  I felt like Kash was ready, some books, blogs and friends told me he could possibly be ready.  But sadly the first go around, he wasn't or I wasn't...who knows!  I think he was about 21 months old when he started recognizing going in his diaper and talking about the toilet and going in there.  Seemed like good signs to me.  I took a week off work, bought the training underpants, the best potty seats, read all the potty training tips I could and prepared to lock myself in the house for the next 7 days until my kid peed in the toilet.  At first things were great.  Sure, he had his accidents but the first few days things looked promising.  But as the week progressed Kash regressed.  He seemed to have no interest in it at all by the end of the week, everything I would say to him would go through one ear and out the other.  It was probably the most frustrating situation I've ever had with him thus far.  

Since I was still working I sent him back to grandma's letting her know our success rate and hoped that it would get better over time.  But it didn't, things got worse and between the pressures of working, the holidays, feeling guilty that Blaine's mom had to deal with all of this and trying to decide when I would quit my job it was all too much. I just knew that Kash wasn't really ready and this wasn't the "right" time. 

We took a break.  I felt pretty defeated as a parent.  I cried.  I swore I would stick with it until it worked and wouldn't be one of those parents to put him back in diapers after trying underwear, but I knew that's what was best for Kash and we weren't getting anywhere.  But we didn't give up completely.  Kash was very aware of when he needed to go poop and I was a stickler on him no longer going in his diaper.  This took lots of bribing--stickers, candy, charts, prizes, etc. (Matchbox cars finally did the trick). That was one step backwards I wasn't willing to take.  After many battles Kash finally got the hang of it. 

About a month after Kash's 2nd birthday Blaine was joking around with him one night and asked Kash if he wanted to wear his Cars underwear.  Expecting a profound NOOOOO, per the usual, we were both shocked when Kash answered, YEAH!  What???  He can't be serious!  Because even though we were taking a break from the whole "training" we were still talking about it and got a pretty negative response from Kash every time we mentioned anything about it.  But we ran with the enthusiastic response he gave Blaine  and put that kid in underwear the next day.  And you know what...that little stinker angel didn't have an accident!  He told me when he had to go #1 and #2.  I was now at home and didn't feel the pressure of a deadline in order to get him potty trained, but there also wasn't any pressure because seriously Kash pretty much decided that night, with his dad, that he was going to wear underwear and wasn't looking back.  

I couldn't believe how easy it was the second time around.  Sure he would have an accident from time to time but it was a true accident where we just didn't make it to the bathroom in time, and those seriously were few and far between.  And he's been potty trained ever since.  I couldn't believe it, I still can't.  Now, almost 6 months later he's still doing great, amazing actually!  I'm so proud of him!!!!  Every one told me it would be hard with a boy and the first child...and it was, but I truly think that was my own fault.  Kash knew when he was ready, and when he was he did great without the pressure of it all.  I'm so proud of him, and so happy I don't have to change his diapers anymore! ha (yes I realize diaper changing is in my near future...but at least I have some time before this next baby is eating solids.  Oh TMI? Sorry.)

Oh parenthood, the most humbling thing I've ever done!

Officially potty trained at 25 months.
Photo taken at 2.5 years old. 

the worst week of Kash's 2 year old life

(this is an extremely long post, but it's been a long few weeks and lots of people have asked for all the details...so here they are.  Read them if you want)

It all started on a WINDY Friday morning hahah just kidding well not really it has been pretty wind here.  But seriously, a few Fridays ago I noticed that Kash's right foot was turned out a little bit, but didn't think too much of it and just thought I would watch it throughout the day.  An hour or so later we went to the store and as we were walking in he started to limp a little bit.  He wasn't acting like he was in any pain it was more like his leg fell asleep or something but it did strike me as odd.  When we got in the store he could walk a little better but had no desire to push the cart or fight me to sit in the cart, very unlike him.  I wasn't sure what had happened because he didn't fall or hadn't been crying that day about any pain.  

When we got home from the store he refused to walk up the stairs and when I asked him to walk he couldn't.  He couldn't bear any weight on his right leg and when he would try he'd just fall down.  This is the point I started to freak out.  It never crossed my mind that he broke his leg because like I said he was really happy and hadn't had a big fall or anything recently.  I looked at his leg and there wasn't any swelling or red marks just a week old bruise that you could barely see.  I just started thinking the worse that it was nerve damage, something was wrong with his spine or maybe even neurological????  

I called Blaine and told him to come home that something was wrong with Kash and I was really worried about him. I then called the pediatrician and she said I needed to take him to Children's right away.  What take him to the hospital???  I was pretty scared okay a lot scared.  It's super freaky when your child all of the sudden can't walk for no apparent reason.  I just kept having these flashes of him being paralyzed the rest of his life...obviously not helpful in the situation but I couldn't seem to help it. 

When we got to Children's he could walk and even jump, I promised Blaine this wasn't the case 30 minutes ago.  But although he could do those things he still favored his left leg and his right foot was turned out.  Well after hanging out with other sick children for THREE hours they finally called our name and we waited another hour back in a tiny room with kids who parents said their kids had been throwing up nonstop.  Awesome can't wait for Kash to get whatever they have!

The doctor took Kash back to do an x-ray but unfortunately Blaine had to leave to finish up some work stuff before the weekend and I wasn't allowed in the room since I'm pregnant.  So Kash was in there without anyone he knew getting x-rays.  I hated that moment so much and almost started crying as I heard him in there crying.

Finally the doc came back and said that he has what is called a toddler's fracture on his tibia bone.  Since it was Friday evening (at this point) all they could do was put a hard splint on it and we were instructed to make sure Kash didn't put any weight on it.  Oh awesome we'll just carry our 35 lb. monster baby around for the next 3 days!  We managed to keep him off of it for the most part and wheeled him around the house in his stroller! It was probably stress relief but for whatever reason this made me laugh out loud for about 15 minutes. 

Kash grew to love being in the stroller and would point and tell you where to take him! haha

To make matters worse for the poor kid already had a cold and couldn't sleep through the night due to a stuffy nose.  Then Sunday morning he puked all over our bed and didn't stop throwing up until about noon.  He probably got a virus from the dang hospital despite my efforts to disinfect everything and try to make him stay close by in the waiting room. 

Here's the hard splint he had for 3 days.  This is right before going to get the cast. 

Finally, Monday morning we were able to get in to see an orthopedic specialist to see if he needed a cast or what the next step would be.  Blaine was out of town for business this week so his mom came with me...and I'm SO GLAD SHE DID!  The doctor told us since the fracture was near the growth plate that she wanted to cast it but it would be a walking cast so he could get around.  Great, cast him and we'll be out in just a few minutes.  WRONG!!!  Kash wouldn't keep his ankle still so four of us had to restrain him and they tried to cast his leg three times while Kash proceeded to freak out. I've never seen him cry that hard, it was soooo sad. Finally the nurse and doctor said that they would have to hard splint it again and we would have to come back another day when he was calmed down.  I begged them to please try one more time. He was already traumatized and if we came back another day it would only be worse.  Plus being pregnant and Blaine out of town I knew that I couldn't carry him around as much as I would need to in the splint. So they gave us about 20 minutes to calm him down and in that time I said a prayer.  I know it sounds a little cheesy but I didn't know what else to do, I had done everything I could and knew that we needed help from our Heavenly Father to get through this! When the nurse came back we laid Kash on his belly and had him watch Mickey.  Luckily that worked long enough to set his ankle, which was the hardest part to keep still and then we just restrained him again for the rest of the leg.  Unfortunately (again), the cast was set at such an angle due to Kash not holding still that it was a little hard for him to walk on at first.  The nurse told us that we would have to get him sedated when it came time to take it off since he was freaking out so much.

What should have been a 20 min. appt. turned into 2 hours!  Great, done see ya!  Get to the car, lock Kash in the car with grandma and myself on the OUTSIDE!!!!  Bah!  I called the police and they sent the fire dept. (yes the whole department--two fire engines and a police officer!) and they got us in the car.  Worst day ever.

After getting the cast...his face about sums it up!  So sad for everyone involved! 

Then a few days later Kash started puking again and then the rest of our house got the same stomach virus!  Needless to say it's been a long few weeks!  Good news is we are all feeling better, Kash is getting around pretty well on his cast and only has a week and a few days left before they remove it.  It was an adventure to say the least, and I'm just glad our Kashers is going to be okay and hopefully won't have any long term effects from all of this.  

Here's day 4 with his cast on, and he's even better at walking with it now. 

stay at home mom: part I, I quit

In the beginning of January I woke up one day and felt like that was the day I was going to quit my job.  And while that statement seems a little rash, there were definitely many conversations between Blaine and I, budget reviews and months of prayers (maybe years?) to get to this point.  We had just never set a date so to speak. But that morning something gave me the strength to do what we've wanted to do for months.

I told Blaine that morning as I was getting ready for work that I really thought I should quit my job that day.  He said, "ok."  Well if I knew it was going to be that easy I would have done it a long time a go! ha  I was so nervous and wasn't really sure if he really was ok with it.  I called him as I was about to walk into work and asked him if he was sure that we should do this.  He told me that he didn't ever think there would be a perfect time but that we needed to just take a leap of faith and make it work...and that I needed to stop spending so much money at Target.  Yeah I needed to stop spending so much money at a lot of places if we were going to make this work!

So I walked into work and told my boss that I was putting in my notice.  I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my mouth.  For two years I have wanted to do this and it happened just like that.  

The next few weeks were hard, way harder than I ever imagined them to be.  I gave my work almost five weeks notice to try and help them as much as I could with the transition but it almost seemed like too much time.  I had been at MHCD for the last four years.  It was my first and only job since moving to Colorado and while it was hard to work there for many different reasons, that job and those people definitely defined a small part of my life here in Colorado.  It also became extremely stressful for both Blaine and I to think about living off of one income.  We, like any other family, became accustomed to spending the money I was earning.  There were many days that I felt like I should tell my boss, "Oh just kidding I'm actually staying!"  But then I would think of Kash.  I would think about how we tried for so long to have a baby and now instead of my days being spent with him I was stuck at work in a job that didn't really use any of my talents or skills fully.  I would think about how he was almost two and I felt like I was missing his every day life.  I would think about how I would come home too tired to cook, clean or play with Kash.  And that is what motivated me to continue to let my five weeks run out at work until I would be a stay at home mom.  

The last few days were the hardest. I had lunches with good friends, flowers, balloons and gifts were brought.   And tons of kind words.  I actually can't believe how many people sent emails or made it a point to come tell me in person that what I was doing was absolutely the best thing I could do right now in my life.  I was shocked.  I worked in a very liberal company and didn't think that anyone there would fully understand why I would give up my job in this economy "just" to stay at home with my child.  But a lot of women told me they did the same thing many years ago and they didn't regret it for one minute!  This was the boost I needed!

I said my goodbyes, cleaned my desk and turned in my keys.  I always pictured myself on my last day ecstatic and flashing the peace sign and running out of the doors with the biggest smile on my face.  But instead I had tears down my face and sadness in my heart as one of my favorite doctors walked me to my car.  I'm not at ALL good at goodbyes, but I seriously didn't think I was going to cry!  But I did and that was it.  I was jobless, such a weird feeling.  I've had a job consistently (minus my freshmen year of college) since I was 16.  I just remember thinking, I hope we made the right decision.

Then the next day I woke up to the sound of Kash talking in his crib instead of my alarm.  Blaine was already at work.  Kash and I had breakfast together (opposed to me eating cereal as I drove to work and him eating at grandma's house).  I showered and put on jeans instead of dress pants.  Kash and I went to play group.  It was still a little surreal that this is what my days would be filled with.  As scared as I was it was a dream come true! 

motherhood

My world as I knew it has changed.  I've forgotten what it's like to not feel tired.  It takes about 20 minutes of prep time just to go to the grocery store.  The skin on my stomach looks like...well lets just say it's sick!  Bills, bills and more bills!  I've turned into a dairy cow.  I've become really good and cooking dinner, doing my make-up and cleaning all with one hand.  My lunch breaks are no longer mine as they are devoted to pumping.  I now worry non stop about a little man that I've only known for 3 months.  But I wouldn't change a thing!

When I stop and think about being a mom it overwhelms me.  I used to dream of the day when I would become a mother.  But it's so much different than I ever thought it would be.  It's one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs I've ever had.  It's hard to put into words the emotions of being a mother.  I don't know if it's because I'm now perma-tired and that makes me more emotional,but any time of the day my eyes will well up with tears at the thought and responsibility of being a mom to my perfect little boy.  I love him so much and can't even imagine my life without him.  I can be having the worst day ever and come home to my little boy looking up at me with his big eyes, he will smile at me and I will forget whatever I was previously upset about.  It's amazing how much love I have for him, more than I ever thought was possible.  But with such great love comes fear of not being the perfect mom and giving him everything he deserves. 

I was feeling guilty for not being the perfect mom a few weeks ago. My best friend emailed me this quote:

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."  “Daughters of God,” Ensign, May 2008, 108–10 Elder M. Russell Ballard

I do love Kash with all my heart, him and Blaine are my first priority and according to Elder Ballard that's all that matters! So tomorrow, on my first mother's day as a mama,  I will be proud to be a daughter of God.  Proud that He has trusted me to take care of one of his children.  Proud to be a wife and have a husband that helps me to be the best mom I can be. Grateful for all the women in my life that have been great examples of strong mothers.  And grateful for my little family that makes me smile each and every day.

I'm just starting out on this journey of motherhood and I have sooo much to learn. But I hope I can give Kash and my future children a home full of love and stability.  I want my kids to feel like home is a place that they can escape from the worries of the world.  I hope I can be a good example.  I hope my children know that I will always love them and will be there for them no matter what.  

I love being a mom.  There hasn't been one day in the past three and half months that I have thought, wow it would be nice if my life could go back to the way it used to be.  Sure there are hard days,  but every single day my little boy makes me happier than I can even explain...it's a happiness that only parents get to experience, and I'm finally part of that club! 

Happy Mother's Day!  

This is my favorite picture of Kash and I.  It was the first night we had brought him home from the hospital.  I had just finished feeding him and was getting up to put him back in his crib and next thing I knew I was waking up to the flash of Blaine's camera as he captured this moment. 

left ankle injury-return unknown

Team Turnbow is down a player! Poor Blaine broke his ankle on Friday playing softball. He goes in for surgery on Wednesday. :(

I hate seeing him in so much pain and not being able to play sports and go to work. Please keep him in your prayers for a speedy recovery so he can get back to the office, the course and help me with this baby that's quickly on it's way!

maybe it's time you buy a new bra...

Really? Is it really okay to say this to someone? I mean, don't get me wrong, I know my jugs are more out of control then ever...we all predicted this time would come. But I still don't feel like it's appropriate for people to suggest I buy a bigger bra (kinda like how it's probably not appropriate for me to be blogging about it?!!?)!

Three different women asked me, "Don't you think it's time you buy a bigger bra?" Really, because I think it's time you tend to your own undergarments-miss saggy boobs. One lady from the ward, mind I'm not really friends with anyone in the ward, even felt it necessary to call me on Saturday and tell me that Dillards was having a bra sale.

So, after all of these women's sweet attempts to make sure my tata's where lookin their best I broke down and bought a new brazier. My mom will tell you this is not one of my favorite things to do, but I felt if these women had the guts to say something to me then maybe something needed to be done. So I hope all you nosey women are pleased with how my boobs are looking these days! Sheesh!

"classy girls weekend"

What I've learned over the years is when you get old you have to buy a plane ticket instead of hopping in your car and driving a few blocks to see your best friends. This weekend I bought a ticket and jumped on a plane to Utah to see my best friends in the whole wide world!

I don't think it's a secret that it's been kind of hard for me to leave my life in Logan and move here to Denver (ironically I was the one that kind of pushed us to move here...the grass is always greener right?). So after the holidays died down but winter was still here I felt like I needed to see my friends before I went crazy! After this weekend I feel rejuvenated and ready to give Denver a chance, which I'm sure will make Blaine happy. I realized that my friends will always be there for me no matter where I live and how many miles are in between us (cheesy? yes, do I care? no! ha). And while Utah will always have a special place in my heart it was good to come back to sunny Denver, a place that is feeling more like home to me.

“It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed, is you.”-Benjamin Button

I think I have changed, but I'm glad at the end of the day my friends are changing with me. I feel so blessed to be so close to my college friends still. We are totally the kind of friends where our kids will be friends and we will all go on family vaca's together! For a list of the silly things only best friends do on "girls weekends" check out Juli's blog!

oh that's it...i'm so writing her a note!!!

I found this hilarious note on Apartment Therapy. While they were trying to come up with ways to deal with awkward roommate situations, I just laughed. This note takes me back to the awesome roommate days of mean notes, people drawing a line on their milk so they could tell if someone drank any, the battle of the thermostat, dealing with annoying boyfriends (none of which were mine of course)...and many more situations.

There were more good times than bad (with most of the roomies), but it is funny to look back at how silly most of the confrontations were. We thought we were soooo mature by leaving a nasty (passive-aggressive) note like:

Girls,

Please do your dishes on your day. I do not appreciate doing them every night!
Love,

"roommate"

Really you love me, are you sure? I admit I was totally the horrible roommate that didn't do my dishes, stole their milk and hated their boyfriends! What I'm an only child and hated going to the grocery store, really it's to be expected!

Luckily most of the girls I lived with while attending Utah State looked past my faults and are still my best friends in the whole wide world.

What are your crazy/funny college roommate stories?

o christmas tree o christmas tree

Here I am! I've neglected my blog in the name of turkey and resting but I'm back and full of Christmas cheer! Yea! I'm so excited this time of year has finally arrived. This past weekend we got our tree and half of our decorations up. Even though we have a tiny apartment it's still exhausting getting it ready for the season.

Blaine's family has a tradition of going to the mountains the day after Thanksgiving and cutting down their own tree. Since I love traditions I was very excited about this last year, but then I got up there and realized that, well, the trees have a lot of "character". The thing is I grew up with a mom that would drag me to 50 different Christmas tree lots in search for the perfect tree in fear of ending up with a Charlie Brown tree. So I'm not going to lie, I had a bad attitude last year when we didn't exactly find the perfect tree. But this year I realized it was a lot more about the memories and being with family and not so much about the tree. Turns out you have a lot more fun when you have a good attitude...weird! This year I actually like my tree though. And one of my best friends put it best, "I'm sure it looks like something Martha Stewart would have, you know how she's always real natural!" So that's the look I'm going for...natural ha! While it's opposite (bare spots and weak branches) of the trees I grew up with I love my little tree and my in laws for bearing with me as I grow out of my bratty-ness!

don't sweat the little things and start living your life

I'm currently reading the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, in where the author describes his dreams, achievements and life lessons all while being diagnosed with a terminal illness.

I'm not very far in this book but so far it's amazed me at how optimistic Randy is even when he knows he only has a few more months to live. The little things don't matter to him, it's about working hard to achieve your dreams and living your life. Reading this book Randy makes me want to work hard, have dreams, big or small, and achieve them.

"Don’t complain, Just work harder. That’s a picture of Jackie Robinson. It was in his contract not to complain, even when the fans spit on him. You can spend it complaining or playing the game hard. The latter is likely to be more effective." -Randy Pausch

His words are simple but powerful! This book hasn't changed my life but it does make me realize if I want something I just need to work for it. It also puts things into perspective. If someone that is going to die in the next few months can have such a positive attitude towards life, why can't I?

we've been here one year!

Yup, that's right we've lived in Colorado for one year now! I feel old saying this...but the time really did fly by and I can't believe it's already been a year! So much has changed since this time last year.

Beginning of last summer Blaine and I were at a crossroad in our life. Our lease would be up soon on our townhouse, we both weren't happy in our jobs, and while Logan is a great place it didn't have much to offer us at the time. We knew we had to move but the "where" was the hard part. We talked about Salt Lake because Blaine could get a promotion and there were more job opportunities for me down there. We also had the option of moving to Colorado to be closer to Blaine's family and to start a new company with his Dad. Both had their ups and downs, we prayed for months to figure out what to do...and yet we still felt confused. We finally decided to move to Denver to be closer to family and for Blaine to start the new business.

I've moved a lot in my life but this move was different. It seemed like the move to Colorado was my first "adult" move. Even after Blaine and I got married I still felt like I was holding on to a piece of my youth by living in Logan. My college friends were still there, I still went to school and I still worked at ICON...not much had changed after the I do's. But then we moved to Colorado and everything changed. For the first time in my life I felt like I didn't have any friends, it was really hard to find a job, I was constantly lost because of all the same named streets and one ways and we ended up living with Blaine's parents for several months (with constant reminders, "oh you still live with your parents huh!"). It seemed like our life was going backwards instead of forwards. But to quote my grandma (aka Muttie), quoting our Heavenly Father, "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." And so it was! I actually really liked living with Blaine's parents and got to know them on a whole new level--we are so grateful for all they did for us when we moved here. I've become really close to all of Blaine's family and it's such a bigger blessing then I ever would have imagined to have family that loves you close by. Blaine's business is starting to take off, and what a difference it is to have him doing something he loves and is passionate about. For the most part and I can find my way around Denver...at least to all the major shopping centers ;). While the friend department is still a little bare, I think it has forced Blaine and I to rely more on each other and has strengthen our marriage.

So while sometimes I step back and think it's crazy that I live here in Colorado and I miss my friends terribly, I've really come to like it here. I still miss a lot of things about Utah but I know we are where we're supposed to be.

Here is our Colorado Year in Review!

back from the "road trip"

Here are our some lowlights/highlights of our trip to Utah.

Lets get the worst out of the way...

Lowlights:
•We didn’t go to Utah
•Our car broke down 3.5 hrs into the trip
•It cost us over $500 to repair it
•We slept in our car one night
-It was freezing the night we did that and didn't get any sleep at all
•We missed Baby Claire’s blessing
•We didn’t get to see our friends or family
•A creepy townie wouldn’t leave us alone the night our car broke down. He kept trying us to stay at his friends house or at least come and watch tv if we didn't want to spend the night
•We finally got rid of him and of course he was the first thing we saw when we got up

Highlights:
•We were stranded in a cute little tourist town
•Our car broke down right near an off ramp
•There was a lot to do in the town of Glennwood Springs where we were stranded
•We played mini golf and skeeball (of course Blaine beat me at both)
•They had a cute little downtown, with cute little shops that Blaine let me go in
•It was beautiful, gave Logan a run for it's money
•There was a tram that we went on that took us to the top of the mountain
•While at the top we rode a mile long “roller coaster” type thing that was awesome
•Since we didn’t have a car we had to walk everywhere we went-equaling in some good exercise for the weekend
•At one point Townie John and Blaine we sitting on the hood of our car like they were old friends. It was all I could do to not laugh in this guy's face!!!
•I only cried twice and it was just for a few seconds-Blaine only cried once...JUST KIDDING!
•Shelley helped with the expense of the car
•Our car is now running
•We got home safely
•The fact that everywhere we went people would ask us where we were from…this meant we didn’t fit in with the locals which was great because they were all FREAKS!
•We stumbled upon some awesome little deli’s

Overall we tried to make the best out of our crappy situation and actually ended up having fun. Blaine and I talked about going back there for a family vaca or for our anniversary, we are now big fans of Glennwood Spings! I'm just glad I had Blaine there to keep me laughing and to help me realize the positive in the situation. I wouldn't want to be stranded with anyone else!