it's go time!

Well this is the last day of my pregnancy, and I'm warning you I'm definitely a rambling, emotional, pregnant woman today!  So read on if you want but you have been warned!

Such a weird feeling to have it all planned out compared to my first pregnancy that felt like my life was on call for the last few weeks of pregnancy.  Obviously it's nice that I've been able to plan who will take care of Kash and my mom doesn't have to get a last minute flight as she rushes out from the Midwest to be here for the birth of her first grand baby.  But knowing that this is my "last day" also brings on those "last day" feelings that I don't handle too well!

This morning while saying a prayer at breakfast I started to tear up as I asked my Heavenly Father to watch over Kash and that all will go well tomorrow with our new baby.  We've been preparing Kash for months and months for the arrival of his little brother, but maybe I'm the one who needed a little more preparing.  At first the emotion was definitely happy and excited as I realized tomorrow I would have a new baby to hold and love.  Kash didn't believe me he asked, "are you sad Mom?"  I told him no that sometimes people cry when they are happy.  He told me that was weird...couldn't agree more! haha  But as I was having that conversation with my little two year old his life flashed before my eyes and I couldn't help but have a little bit of a sad feeling that this would be our last breakfast together just the two of us.  That the next time I sat at that table with him he would have a little brother and I would have a new baby to tend to.  And thanks to pregnancy hormones and my already sensitive heart I couldn't stop crying this morning. 

I know Kash will be a great big brother and that this baby is meant to be in our home and in our family, but today I just treasured my last day with just me and my first baby.  I'm so grateful for the past 9 months that I've been able to spend with just Kash and I each day, what a blessing. 

Okay for my own sake let's move on to the belly shot so I can stop crying!  I thought it would be fun to do my last pregnancy picture in the same shirt as my first pregnancy to compare sizes.  I'm actually 40 weeks in the first one and 39 weeks in the second since my doctor is inducing me a week early.  But isn't it funny to see a side by side shot?  I do think I look bigger the first pregnancy, but I was also just carrying the baby completely different.  Looking at the first picture reminds me of how high I carried Kash and how much my ribs hurt!  I'm so grateful that this baby is sitting a lot lower.  

My guess/vote is that this baby will weigh around 9 lbs 2 oz, Blaine thinks 9 lbs 4.5 oz (he insists on the .5).   Please, please bless that we are both right and he's around 9 pounds or less!!!!

Alright, the next post we'll be introducing our sweet baby boy!  Wish me luck tomorrow!  YIKES, childbirth...never my idea of a fun Thursday! :) 

36 weeks

If there's anything good to come out of having an 11 lbs. baby it's that with your next one the doctors are willing to monitor you more and do what they can to make sure you won't have another giant baby.  

We went in for our 36 week check up this week and had an ultra sound as well to see how big this baby was already.  He's measuring in at 6 lbs. 13 oz. (don't ask me how they get the exact weight) with four more weeks to go.  Since the average baby only gains a half a pound each week the doctor is willing to take me only a week early.  So obviously he's on the big side but I still don't think he's as big as Kash was.  It would be interesting to know how much Kash weighed at 36 weeks, but my idiot doctors refused to do an ultra sound that late in the game.

So, unless this baby comes on his own my doctor will probably induce me on September 6th and we are shooting for a "small" 8-9 lbs. baby.  My doctor laughed when my response to that weight was, "perfect!".  She said she guesses it's all relative but most patients think that's pretty big.  I do too, but it sounds better than an 11-12 pounder!

I think if I really tried though I could get this baby to come on his own, but I've been taking it real easy the last week to try and prevent that from happening.  I have contractions and pains all the time, I'm dilated to a one and 50% effaced already (I never felt any pain until after my due date with Kash).  But I'm not ready yet!!!  It's funny looking back at last time I was very ready for the baby to come.  Right now though, the nursery isn't done, my bags aren't packed, I haven't even gotten the car seat out of storage and mentally I need a few more weeks to prepare myself to be a mother of two!!!

Don't get me wrong, seeing this little face on the ultra sound monitor made me fall in love and very ready to hold my baby...just not quite yet. I think I still need a little more one on one time with Kash as well.  He's been acting out a bit more than usual and I want to find time in the next few weeks where I don't have any projects, work or church things to do where I can dedicate some quality one on one time with him.  I want him to feel special too during all this baby chaos.  

But we are definitely getting close and it's crazy/scary to think about checking into the hospital again, going through labor and then bringing our sweet baby home.  Our whole lives will change again.  And just like the first time I know we'll adapt, change and look back and think how we lived without this sweet little spirit in our home! 

Pregnant with Kash at 36 weeks

32 weeks

It's mid July and I've survived pregnancy so far, emphasis on the word survive.  This pregnancy has been much harder the last trimester compared to Kash and I think it's solely based on the fact that it's summer and it's hot, I feel like I'm going to pass out ever time I step outside...literally!

I wish I had documented more of my symptoms from the first pregnancy so I could compare and not go off of memory alone but it seems as if I get a lot less sleep, my body hurts a lot more and I have Braxton Hicks just about every time I blink...and they are starting to hurt.  My feet have started to swell and my hands are about as veiny as they can get.  It's funny because I don't realize the swelling as much since I've been wearing sandals 24/7 but I tried to shove my swollen sausages into a pair of flats the other day and there was no way my feet were going to fit in them.

At my last check up my blood tests showed that I'm a little bit anemic again with this pregnancy, my levels aren't as low as they were with Kash though.  I told the doctor that I knew my iron was low because I've been craving ice like I did before.  Popcicles and Sonic ice are sufficing the cravings.  Other than that it's been so hot that I really don't want to eat anything else but popcicles and cereal (don't worry I do eat other things than that...but if those two things gave me all the nutrients I needed I probably wouldn't eat anything else!)

I sometimes get away with non-maternity pants but they are definitely less comfortable than the stretch waist band that maternity clothes provide you with.  Luckily my sweet sister-in-law Joy let me borrow a bunch of maternity shorts and you can find me in the black pair pictured above and a white version of them just about every other day of the week.  

Despite all of the extra pains joys summer has brought to this pregnancy I still do enjoy every little kick I feel, every little hiccup (boy does this baby get the hiccups a lot...probably every day!) and watching my entire stomach move from side to side.  My "gut" still tells me this is going to be a big baby like his brother.  My doctor agrees and will do a 36 week ultra sound to see just how big this baby is and if she'll induce me early based on his weight then.  

So only 8 maybe 7 weeks left, so close yet so far away.  But at this point I think about my new little baby every day...what color of hair he'll have, what his temperament will be like, if he'll fit into newborn diapers or if I should just start stocking up on the next size, if his labor will be as traumatic as his brother's and how we'll all adjust to this new little spirit in our home.  I get more and more excited each day to meet him!

Pregnant with Kash at 32 weeks.

23 weeks

(Ahhh please bless I get a new camera for my birthday!)  Big brother thought my self timer shots were hilarious and wanted in on the action! 

News flash I'm pregnant!  Ok, I guess this isn't news but this week I officially feel pregnant!  I'm so freakin' tired, my back feels like a truck ran over it every night, I'm getting leg cramps in the middle of the night, I'm HOT, I feel full when I eat half a sandwich, and this baby is starting to kick harder than I think he should.

But other than that all is well! ha  Really though, like I said before, I can't complain too much because this pregnancy has been so easy up to this point.  But it is getting harder to get motivated to get up at Kash's wake up call of 6:00am or earlier when I hardly slept the night before due to all of the above.  

In more fun news Blaine felt the baby kick!  It actually surprised me how hard the little guy was kicking.  And he's kicking me a lot higher than I remember Kash kicking me at 23 weeks.  I'm pretty sure this week alone the baby has grown at least a few inches and is definitely putting on the ounces!  I tried to get Kash to feel the baby but his little toddler hands wouldn't hold still long enough

We are starting to get the room ready.  I'm making a lot of the stuff going into the nursery so I hope I find the energy, time and creativeness to do it all before September.  But by getting the nursery ready I think it's really clicked for Kash that there will be an actual baby in that room someday.  Anytime he sees a baby he talks about how we will have one at our house or that I have a baby in my tummy.  And lately he's taken a lot more interest in babies and helping them out, fingers crossed this behavior continues when his little brother arrives!

Pregnant with Kash at 23 weeks. 

19 weeks

I promise I wasn't trying to be too cool for school in this picture and not smile, I actually think this is mid-smile which is even worse.  The problem is that last pregnancy, this one too I'm sure, all of my belly shots were done with a self timer.  So the results are always super awkward.  But like I said before I'm glad I have the pictures from my first pregnancy so I'm sure I'll be glad someday to look back on this (sadly the best of all my attempts before the neighbors came outside) gem and be glad I have it too.  

So 19 big whole weeks...only reason I'm doing a 19 week post is because I did it last time, not sure why 20 weeks didn't sound better to me back then.  I'm still feeling and doing great.  I am starting to feel more tired and I suppose that will only get worse but really other than that I'm really enjoying this pregnancy.  I haven't started swelling yet, I'm still under my pre-pregnancy weight (due to weight loss in the beginning of the pregnancy), the heartburn has been minimal, no leg cramps (yet-I got these horribly with Kash) and I can still wear my regular pants with the hair-tie trick.  The only thing I have noticed this go around is that my back has hurt a lot more.  It might be a safe bet to blame a little of this on the 2 year old we live with.

I'm feeling a lot bigger kicks now and I love it.  I think it will be fun when the baby gets stronger and Kash can feel the kicks too.  Fun because I have a feeling this might freak him out, and he'll have some awesome words to say about it! ha

We talk about the baby a lot with Kash, tell him where the baby's room will be, that he'll be a big brother and that the baby is "in mommy's tummy".  The other day Kash said, "Ooo baby in my tummy!" and grabbed his stomach.  Pretty cute. And as my stomach gets bigger I think he's starting to believe me.

One thing is for sure, this baby is already loved.  Not a day passes that we don't talk about the baby and anxiously await it's arrival...errr 20 weeks from now ha.

First time being 19 weeks prego

baby (bump) update

This pregnancy has been completely different than my first!!!  I was so sick day in and day out with Kash for the first 8 months I wasn't sure I would ever be able to go through all that it again. So when the pregnancy test said positive I couldn't help but think of the puke filled days followed by pushing out an 11 pounder!  To say the least I was scared (maybe I still am).  What they say is true, ignorance really is bliss and so it was with my first pregnancy!

And I think, at first, all of that held me back from truly being excited about our new little babe on the way. That and our lives were so full with Kash I couldn't imagine sharing my love with any other child.  I definitely felt that it was time to have another baby but at our first ultra sound appointment I spent the whole time telling any nurse and doctor who would listen that I had a really big baby the first time and I didn't want that to happen this time around.  I forgot to enjoy the moment and realize that the little bean on the screen was our sweet new baby!  I forgot to take it all in and enjoy the process.

Well you know what happened?  I got a kick in the pants in the stomach from our new little baby!  It hit me right then that this was the real deal!  That this little baby was already a part of our family and he/she won me over right there.  My heart grew and baby #2 found a spot in there that I thought was already so full of Kash's awesomeness that there wasn't any more room.  That's all it took for me to stop worrying about everything and enjoy this pregnancy.  My doctor also told me something that at the time made me want to punch her in the face but now is oddly comforting.  When talking about Kash's birth weight she told me, "I know it's not ideal but the fact that you did it once tells us you are capable of doing it again."  I did do it and I would do it again for this little baby too!  I already feel that I would do anything for this baby the same way I would for Kash. 

I actually really like my doctor despite that comment ha.  She said she would do a 36 week ultra sound to check the baby's weight and she would be willing to induce me at 39 weeks.  All reassuring things for me to hear!

This pregnancy has actually been a breeze...as far as pregnancies go.  I was really tired the first trimester but I feel like I got my second wind and ready to do some thing other than sleep! I have felt really great nausea wise and haven't been sick but a couple of days.  But I do appreciate on my sick days that I have my own little Bob Costa giving me a play by play at the toilet like I'm performing an Olympic sport! haha 

And on to the baby bump.  I actually debated if I should post a belly shot or not, I just can't believe how much bigger I am this go around!!! And I'm kind of embarrassed at how big I am, but I want to document for this child the same way I did for Kash. I'm actually pretty close to my first pre-pregnancy weight but man those stomach muscles aren't anywhere close.

So here I am in all my pregnancy glory.  And yes...plan to see me in a maxi dress possibly every day this summer, although I don't think they do me any favors-they are comfortable and that's what counts! 

Yep, had to do another mirror shot since that's what I did with Kash!  Just keepin' it fair yo!

Here I am 15 weeks pregnant with Kash.  And to think, I thought I was SO HUGE then!

 

one year ago today...

...we were anxiously awaiting our little boy. By this point last year I thought I had every last detailed prepared, but I don't think you can ever fully prepare mentally for becoming a parent. This time last year I had no idea that in a week I would have an 11 pound NEWBORN! I had no idea what labor and birth would actually be like. I had some idea, but didn't fully realize how much I would love that little boy until he came.
I can't believe it's been a year and we are fast approaching Kash's first birthday. I've been extra weepy lately thinking about his first year of life. Words can't describe how much love I have for my baby boy, so I'll just stop here. And leave you with this little reminder of the big ol baby in my belly, one year ago!

Let the posts celebrating Kash's first life begin!

40 weeks with child

I wasn't going to post any belly shots after 38 weeks, because frankly I feel disgusting right about now. But today a co-worker couldn't stop laughing at how big I looked and felt the need to snap this picture on my phone because "I just had to send it to my mom to show her how 'huge' I am!" Well I figured if it was entertaining to said co-worker that maybe you would enjoy it as well. Plus I'm hoping it will make me feel a little better post pregnancy when I'm sad that I still can't fit into my pre-prego jeans but grateful that I'm not this big!

So here I am in all my pregnant glory.

"You know your belly is big when YOUR boobs look small!"-again my lovely co-worker

3 more days right??!? haha, yeah sure!

36 weeks

Since being pregnant I haven't really had to buy many maternity tops (pants since week 20, but tops not so much). I guess it's because I already feel huge and then to put a maternity top on really does make all of those "are you having twins" comments seem justified.

So last week I was running out of the house and threw on my old trusty USU sweatshirt circa 2002. Well after catching a glimpse in the mirror of this hilarious sight maybe it's time I buy a maternity shirt or two!
I mean I know I'm getting big but it wasn't until I saw myself in this sweatshirt that I was like...dang girl you really are 9 months prego!!! I couldn't stop laughing, I still can't-I think this is the funniest picture ever for some reason! I don't know if it's the fact that it's my college sweatshirt and I'm sure that there were many of times bored in the dorms where Sayward would stuff her bra and I would stuff my belly (in this same sweatshirt) to see what it would look like when I got pregnant (weird I know) and now that vision has come to life. Or if it's that guy at church who thought he was so funny when he said, "how did that basketball taste when you swallowed it?!!" actually has me laughing now because that's exactly what it looks like.

I'm actually 37 weeks now and I'm sure I'm bigger! But at this point the unnatural form my body is taking is something you truly have to laugh at.

Speaking of 37 weeks, the baby is full term! He could come tomorrow and be a health bouncing baby boy! But knowing my luck I'm sure he'll make his debut sometime towards the end of January...I'm sure by then I won't be laughing any more!

32 weeks=8 months=8 more weeks

I felt like my last post was a little negative. So what better way to cheer people up than a belly shot and a fetus poem? Who doesn't love that combo?!

I don't want to give the wrong impression that I hate being pregnant. I mean don't get me wrong it's not my favorite thing in the world but it has been an amazing experience overall. To think that I'm trusted enough to carry this little baby and to bring him into this world is just an overwhelmingly awesome feeling!

Watching my belly wiggle and to feel our little boy kick makes up for the restless nights and bruised ribs.

The thought of all the joy and happiness he will bring our family makes up for all the ridiculous pregnancy comments.

Having a little boy and the bond he will have with his dad as they do boy things makes up for all the times I laughed too hard and peed in my pants a little! :) ha ha

The tiny toes, the small hands and the irresistible adorableness that will soon call me mom makes up for the constant stream of snot coming from my nose since becoming pregnant.

I know it will all be worth it!

I can't believe how much I already love him and feel a connection with him. Every time I get something out of the fridge it warms my heart to see the little sonogram of him sucking his thumb! I've waited for a long time to become a mother and I can't believe the time is so near. And to start a family with Blaine makes it even better than I ever dreamed of!

knock it off already

If one more person says any of the following to me...

"Wow, you know what you are really pregnant today!" (in which I want to say...you think you freakin idiot, I happen to be 31 weeks really pregnant and I'm well aware of how pregnant I am!!!)

"You are huge!" (Thanks, I'm growing a human!!!!!!!)

"You could pop any day now!" (I'm gonna freakin pop you any day now!)

"I can't imagine you getting much bigger!" (well start imagining it because I still have 9 more weeks to go)

"Are you having twins?" (no but thanks for making me feel really great today!)

"I don't think you should wear that shirt it makes you look really pregnant" (oh good job genius I am really pregnant!)

...I swear I will slap them. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm not a girl anymore that doesn't care about her weight/looks and that doesn't have feelings.

Maybe I need this shirt?

23 weeks

We started working on the baby's room this weekend. It looks awesome already and all we have is the paint on the walls (thanks to Blaine).

I can't wait till there's actually a little boy to sleep, cry, play and laugh in that room!

5 months later...

(don't mind my pink jacket clashing with the red curtains!)

...and I look like I've swallowed a cantaloupe. My weekly pregnancy emails actually said it's more like a 6" Subway sandwich now. I can't believe the baby is that big or how HUGE my stomach has gotten in the last few weeks (and I'm only half way there, yikes)!!! But I don't care how big the baby wants to get, okay that's a lie I do care, but as long as I'm not puking. So far the 2nd trimester has been a dream! I mean my body still reminds me that I'm carrying a little bambino around, but I feel so much better than I did the first four months of this adventure.

And the baby seriously moves all the time now and it is the coolest part of pregnancy thus far. I will just be going through my day, maybe talking to a co-worker and I will feel the baby kick, get so happy inside and totally zone out. I eventually come back to reality and pretend like I was totally listening. I love it--not the ignoring my co-workers part, the baby saying hi part. I love this little baby (have I said that already?!?!)!!! I keep wishing Blaine could feel the tiny kicks. I make him put his hand on my belly all the time to try and feel it, but I think we are going to have wait a little longer till he can feel the baby.

Next Friday we find out what it is. So place your bets now--boy or girl?? Loser has to change a dirty diaper!

ms. dunkin donuts 2009 or 15 weeks prego???

It is a toss up right now!

You're probably like, "Great now that Erica is pregnant all she's going to post about is being pregnant like every other Mormon girl in her 20's"...YOU BETCHA (well I'll try to keep it to a minimum)!

So here's the cheesy-blurry-over done-myspace mirror picture of me with a babe in my bell. Sayward keeps telling me to post a picture of my belly and I knew if I asked Blaine to take I'd end up with a picture of my feet--turns out my pictures aren't much better, I'll see if I can get him to take the next one.